龍卷風

狂風掃葉 葉落歸根

Home Made Disinfectant

Posted by doc on January 12, 2021

Met a lady in the lift this afternoon. As soon as she entered, she started spraying a bottle of liquid to the air.

I extended my hand towards her and she sprayed some on to my hand. I tried to smell my hand through my mask but no smell came out of it.

She then told me it is a disinfectant that she made herself at home.

“Wow! You make your own disinfectant!” I exclaimed.

She then proceeded to tell me about her water filter at home which can turn ordinary water into disinfectant…

🤦🏻‍♂️

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醫生你很準

Posted by doc on December 28, 2020

婦女有鼻子敏感問題多年,一路來都在我這裡跟進,也已十多年。

今天…

婦女:“醫生,我可以進來量一量血壓嗎?”

醫生:“可以。可以。請坐。”

婦女:“醫生,你真準。”

醫生:“我還沒開始量呢。”

婦女:“不是的,你記得以前時常載我來的朋友嗎?”

醫生:“哦?我記得。怎麼了?”

婦女:“他昨晚去世了。”

醫生:“哦?是嗎?他什麼名字?怎麼了?”

婦女:“腸胃癌末期。”

醫生:“哦。節哀順變吧。根據我的記錄,他最後一次來看我是五年前了,我讀了他的驗血報告,懷疑他有腸胃癌。”

婦女:“是的。那時你對他說過要注意身體健康,如果一直瘦,便血等就要看醫生,並勸他趕快立遺囑。”

醫生:“我記得。這盒紙巾拿去擦眼淚吧。”

婦女:“所以我說你很準。”

醫生:“妳哭得那麼厲害,昨晚又沒睡,血壓上升了。我開些藥,妳回去吃,今晚睡好一點,明天就沒事了。”

婦女:“對了,我左邊乳房好像有硬塊。”

醫生:“先回家吧,別想那麼多。他在天之靈,會多多保佑我們的。過兩天,等你心情穩定了,再來讓我檢查。”

婦女:“好的。”

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2020 年的聖誕節

Posted by doc on December 25, 2020

剛到藥房,便來了一對夫婦,他們的五歲的小女孩兒肚子疼。

女孩活蹦亂跳,根本不像生病的樣子。

“她今早說肚子疼,嘔了一次,應該是食物中毒。” 她媽媽說。

“她昨晚吃了什麼?有瀉肚子嗎?” 我問。

“她昨天生日,吃了很多蛋糕。沒瀉肚子。” 她媽媽答。

“嘩!生日在平安夜!” 我驚呼。

“Doctor, my tummy pain.” 小女孩投訴。

“Where is the pain?” 我問。

“Here, here and here.” 小女孩往肚子上亂指一通。

檢查了一番,除了腸胃蠕動的頻率比正常稍微頻密,沒發現其它異常。

“應該是消化不良,不是食物中毒,也非盲腸。大致上沒問題,這幾天吃清淡一點就好。昨晚的蛋糕是含有芝士的蛋糕吧?” 我問。

“你怎麼知道是芝士蛋糕?” 少婦驚問。

“妳女兒才五歲,消化能力有限。大量服食芝士,未免會消化不良。我開些輕微的藥水為她緩和她的不舒服。以後多加注意。” 我勸道。

“她今早還沒吃東西呢!什麼東西都說不要吃。” 少婦稍微擔憂。

“她昨天的蛋糕還沒消化完畢,妳又想再塞東西進去。妳以為妳女兒是什麼?無底洞?” 我的語氣帶有責備。

“那她現在可以吃什麼?” 少婦急了。

“買支 100-plus,加熱水,當滾水喝,直到胃口恢復就可。” 我安慰道。

“I like 100-plus.” 小女孩突然說。

“We will buy you 100-plus later.” 她爸爸說。

“Do I need to eat medicine? I don’t like medicine.” 小女孩有點不安。

“Only if you want to.” 我答。

“Really?” 她有些高興。

“Oh yes. Only if your tummy pain again.” 我答。

“Then my tummy no pain.” 她馬上答。

她父親猛拍了一下額頭,她母親的表情則有點哭笑不得。

“Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas!” 我祝賀小公主。

“Thank you, Doctor. Merry Christmas, Doctor.” 小公主笑祝。

我和調皮可愛的小公主相視而笑,心有靈犀一點通。

祝大家聖誕快樂。

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蘿蔔刀

Posted by doc on December 6, 2020

病人:醫生,我切到手。

醫生:被什麼東西切到手?

病人:蘿蔔刀?

醫生:蘿蔔刀???專門切蘿蔔用的刀?不可以拿來切黃瓜?

病人:通常是切蘿蔔及蘋果,有時拿來切菜。

醫生:妳養兔子?

病人:不是。是給馬吃的。

醫生:妳。妳。妳。妳養馬做寵物?妳把它養在廁所裡?

病人:我是騎馬師。

醫生:嘩!那些星期六及星期天的跑馬是妳騎的?

病人:不是,我是馬術師,訓練馬及教人騎馬的。

醫生:妳在哪裡教?我要去學。

病人:醫生,我的手還在流血。

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很乾

Posted by doc on December 5, 2020

病人:醫生,我婆婆說她晚上睡覺時覺得口很乾。

醫生:你看到一盆花很乾,你會怎麼做?

病人:澆花。

醫生:聰明。那你婆婆口乾呢?

病人:用水淋她?

醫生:你真孝順!

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Googlers n+1

Posted by doc on November 28, 2020

Google is the place where you look for knowledge.

But it is not for everyone, especially the stupid ones.

Google only if you want to improve yourself.

It is not for you to search for something to impress or out-do others.

There are always someone who can out-Google you to get better and more accurate information.

So, stop proving your stupidity in the public.

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Baiters n+1

Posted by doc on November 28, 2020

Baiters are stupid.

People that got baited are more stupid than the baiters that have managed to bait them to viral their fake information.

Most of the time they were actually trying to make themselves look well informed or knowledgeable.

But they could only manage to show that their education has failed on them.

Share this:

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Scammers n+1

Posted by doc on November 28, 2020

Scammers are stupid.

People that got scammed are more stupid than the scammers that have managed to scam them.

They sometimes give excuses that scammers used some black magic.

Most of the time they were actually covering for their greedy nature.

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Sony XM4 Not Turning On

Posted by doc on November 28, 2020

Both phone A and phone B were connected to Spotify, under same Spotify account. Phone A playing.

Sony XM4 were connected to both phone A and phone B. Sound coming from phone A.

Decided to do a Close All on phone A.

Spotify closed on phone A. Music stopped on XM4.

Spotify on phone B can’t play on XM4.

Decided to restart XM4.

XM4 can’t be switched on.

Removed Suntaiho magnetic USB-C charging plug from XM4.

Managed to switch on XM4 and reconnected everything.

Plug Suntaiho magnetic USB-C plug back in.

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Maxis Free Data 1GB/day

Posted by doc on November 27, 2020

Since MCO, many telcos are offering free data. Maxis is also offering 1GB/day for my account. But instead of offering automatically, user needs to redeem it daily, manually, via their app. Many say they are not sincere in this offer.

Several weeks ago, they moved the selection from the top to the bottom. Thus if you are already used to the routine of clicking the choice at the top to redeem the daily 1GB free data, you are likely to click the wrong choice and ended up paying for something that you didn’t want. However, I think they received much complaints and refund requests that they reverted to the older arrangement the next day.

Today, they did another stunt again. They buried the choice into the What’s Hot section in their app.

Why not make it a quest? Answer a random daily IQ question and only if you get it right will you be entitled the 1GB free data for that day? You will in the process, educate your users too.

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